Topic: Relationships "Should I Stay or Should I Go"
Conversation on Image (Part 2)
We put those barriers around us to protect ourselves from being hurt. It’s about the history that I have created, participated in, from the unknown, people getting too close to us, or people getting to know the real me. Imagine a concrete wall around you and it is high, are you saying that you want to hide out and not get any invaders coming into your world? Keep my stuff to myself; but, what you are doing is keeping the good stuff out. When you have a barrier around you, you are also holding yourself hostage. You should be careful when you put barriers up, because you are also imprisoning yourself. How do you get to the truth, and the way to do that is to bring down the barriers? Your pride caused you to hide your situation. When you put your pride in front of the situation, a lot of times you create those invisible walls; those invisible barriers and it causes people not to see who you are and what you are going through; which allows an individual not to tell the truth about their situation. Chip away at that barrier, let’s start telling the truth.
Don't allow yourself to live in the past. Who are you now? Are you focusing on your current state. There is nothing wrong with crying, but give your fears a definition. It's ok to reflect.
Were you prepared and committed to your purpose and goals in life ?
Regardless of the issues going on in your life, give yourself an excuse to win.
Series of self-talk: Self management and how to move from one position to another, moving the needles and mountains in your life. *This episode gives the metaphors of P.B.S (Pigs, Bit*hes, and Slaves)
Truth is the biggest barrier of the family. A change in income due to a change in your job, could be a change in your household budget; yet you are still trying to live on the same income of that previous job. Now, the family has been socialized to pick out $300 tennis shoes. We have created a society of fakers. the wall in your life needs to come down. If you have a barrier nothing can get to you and you can't get to nothing else. Anytime the truth is not the force, then catastrophe is headed that way.
At times, the emphasis is placed on money, but when you have a mission, the resources will eventually catch up. My mother was raising two kids, so she could not chase a big career because she had to ask, ‘am I going to raise this boy and girl of mine or am I going to chase the dollar?’ I am glad that she made the decision to raise her children. She could have done a lot of different things as my mother is a brilliant woman. She talked about history and took us to monuments around the United States. She did a lot with little; she planned and she sacrificed not having the nice car or the big house. We did not have the big house, but what I have now is not relegated or contingent on where I live, what I drive, and what I wear. And, that is because that was not how I was raised. If you put me in a box, Chuck is going to rise above and be the cream on top. My Mom taught me how to be resourceful. There is a difference from being resourceful and having resources. If you are resourceful, the resources will come. Don’t forget to have ‘other people thinking’ when your resources increase, make sure you share those resources. Make sure you are looking at your Mother, and saying, “what can I do?” Flip the script for our Mothers and give life back to the person that gave us life. You should not focus on that financial side of things. Put the energy into who you are developing, and how your child will look in the future. If you are putting money before everything, remember that no money, no gold, no silver, no copper has left the earth. You only have so many years with this person. Make today count. You don’t have forever; you don’t have eternity. Truth is like water, and water is strong. If we tell the truth about our situation, it is less likely to experience those barriers and delusion of grandeur. Don’t hold your parents hostage to what they did or didn’t do, because that is what they experienced. No family is perfect. Yet, when we deal with the truth, the perfection of family is the agenda. We are a perfecting people. Why don’t we pull from the past, look at today, and deal with the future.
Children are listening to what is being said and not being said –verbals and nonverbals. You have to be very cognizant of what you are informing young people in your communication. What you are creating is the future. You can either create a productive child or you can create a Frankenstein. Communication means that we need to be diverse, read, understand, share and not be confined to our own walls. Technology has shrunk the world; no matter what your economical circumstance, get outside of who you are and see yourself in the future. That is a communication piece that our kids need to hear about and replicate. See yourself beyond your situation. As a Mom, it is so important to be connected, stay engaged in your role while focusing more on quality time as opposed to quantity time. Be concerned whether you are building a productive citizen or am I developing a Frankenstein. I am going to sacrifice for my child and make certain to communicate to my child.